


Paint Me

by lovelyairi, NoHappyEnding



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Angst, M/M, NHE2017, no happy ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-21
Updated: 2018-02-21
Packaged: 2019-03-22 04:29:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,091
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13756323
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lovelyairi/pseuds/lovelyairi, https://archiveofourown.org/users/NoHappyEnding/pseuds/NoHappyEnding
Summary: Something was horribly wrong, and as Jongin blinked in hopes of holding onto the colours fading from his vision it all vanished. And just like that, everything changed.





	Paint Me

**Author's Note:**

> **Prompt:** 2017-47  
>  **Pairing/Main character(s):** Kai/D.O  
>  **Word count:** 13,088  
>  **Rating:** Teen and Up  
>  **Warning(s):** Major Character Death
> 
>  **Author's note:** This story is inspired by two songs, Paint Me by Mamamoo as well as Blue by Troye Sivan. Wow, this was a lot aha, it stressed me out at times and I had to rewrite it completely but I hope the results are worth it. Thank you so much to the MODs for being incredibly helpful and friendly. And thank you to my dear beta who always listens to my whining, you really helped me out. I'm happy to have taken part of this fest ❤ thank you for having me!

For as long as he could remember, Jongin had been taught that he was not complete. Just like the others, he had a heart, he had two arms and legs and he had a mind of his own, yet like everyone else, he was incomplete. Just like everyone else, his eyes were only able to see in a scheme of black and white. 

He’d learned that everyone was born this way, missing a part of their senses that would help them live life to the fullest. The notion of colour had been foreign from the beginning, how could there be colour in a world that was solely black and white? As a young child he couldn’t understand, yet he believed as the adults told them. 

When he became a teenager, he was taught that the only way he could gain colour in his life was if he met his soulmate, his destined other that would make him complete. His hopes were crushed when he learned that 1 in 100,000 individuals actually managed to meet their soulmates and teenage Jongin decided that he wouldn’t spend his life looking for them.

Nothing was wrong with him, so why should he go out of his way to fix it? Sure, he’d never be able to understand the terms, blue, red and green but he really didn’t need to. Jongin would never understand the significance of actually picking out flowers or seeing a sunset but he didn’t really care for what he’d never experienced in the first place.

Most of what he knew was learned from his textbooks, the first pair of soulmates shared empty wisdom in his history textbooks and he couldn’t deny that it sounded nice, to find your soulmate and see colours but at the same time, with a chance so low he might as well live life to the fullest in whatever way he can. 

Many associated finding their soulmates with finding love. But Jongin was aware that that was not always the case, not all soulmates fell in love with one another. His parents weren’t even soulmates, simply two individuals who ignored the system that never blessed them. His mother told him that he should try and keep an open mind, and when he asked her whether she was still waiting for her soulmate she only gave him a sad smile.

According to his history textbooks, some records of soulmates had merely been friends, very close friends that never progressed into a romantic relationship. Which was why Jongin didn’t hold back from being infatuated with Soojung from Science Class or having a crush on Seulgi in his freshman year of college. 

When Jongin became an adult he realized that he didn’t feel for women in the same way he felt for men, which then posed the possibility of him having a female for a soulmate that he’d never love that way. Despite his feigned nonchalance towards the whole thing, he knew deep inside that he was hoping to find someone whom he could connect with.

After all, finding someone who can understand you inside out in a way so profound that they can complete you, was that so much to ask for?

  
  
  


“So where are we headed?” Jongin asks as he thrusts his hands into his pockets, it was currently Autumn and the wind was hostile today. Sehun, a good friend from college, was walking beside him with his chin buried in his scarf, Jongin regrets not bringing one himself. He and Sehun were also co-workers at an accounting firm so they often spent time together out of work.

“It’s Friday my good man, so where else do you think we’re headed?” Jongin can only tell Sehun is grinning by the way his eyes crinkle up, he rolls his eyes with a sigh,

“This week has been brutal, I’d really rather not go clubb-”

“A caf é !” Sehun stops abruptly and Jongin has to do a double take to see that indeed they were now standing in front of a caf é . He squints as he looks up at the sign that reads, ‘Caf é Clover’, Jongin sends a glance at Sehun who shrugs,

“Hey, don’t judge. I’ve heard they have amazing crepes here, go on in,” Jongin takes a deep breath and he passes by the small blackboard sign on the sidewalk that reads the day's special menu item in neat cursive writing. His hand comes in contact with the cold metal handle of the door and he gingerly pushes it open, eliciting the sound of a chime that rings through the place.

He holds the door open for Sehun, who enters after him and takes a second to inspect the interior. The café is definitely quaint and it has a cozy atmosphere. There are little pots hanging from the ceiling and they’re overflowing with vines and leaves. The floorboards are dark and the walls are covered in fairy lights as well as paintings, in one corner he can see a bookshelf that sits beside a staircase that presumably leads up to the second floor.

Jongin sees that the place is quite busy, it was early evening so that would explain why students were studying quietly to themselves, with pastries and coffee in front of them. There was soft jazz music filling the café and only with a nudge to his back does he actually move out of the way for Sehun to make his way inside.

“I’ve never actually been here before, I’m guessing we order there and seat ourselves,” Sehun mumbles and he takes the lead. Jongin follows and he notes how nicely lit the counter is, the menu is also written on a blackboard and he sees an array of drinks as well as food to choose from, the sweets are all on display.

“Good evening, what can I get for you?” A very perky girl whose name tag reads Lee Suhyun, asks them and Jongin likes her smile, she’s really cute in a younger sister kind of way. He looks up at the menu once more and decides to go with a safe choice, after all it wasn’t like he was paying today.

“Hot chocolate and a honey sponge cake,” Jongin whispers to Sehun and he shoves his friend forward. Sehun orders a coffee along with a chicken wrap and they’re given a number before being told it’ll take a few minutes. A young man emerges from the curtains that lead to the kitchen (he’s guessing) and he looks strikingly similar to Suhyun. Lee Chanhyuk drops off some cakes and he disappears as quickly as he appears.

“Think it’s a family business?” Sehun asks and it’s clear that he’s pieced together the same thing Jongin has. Jongin shrugs and he could care less, although he was beginning to like this place more and more, it was so comfortable. A few moments of silence pass between them and soon enough their number is being called, which results in Sehun being ushered up to grab their tray after losing a round of rock, paper, scissors.

“Thank you Sehun,” Jongin grins when he smells the honey and chocolate, it causes his mouth to water. Sehun distributes their things from the tray and he sets it on the empty seat beside him since they chose to sit at a table designed for four. 

Jongin decides to dig into his honey sponge cake first and as soon as the delectable sweet hits his tongue something amazing happens.

The cake melts on his tongue in the most pleasant way and the drizzle of honey is enough to delight his taste buds. He feels happiness coursing through his body and it immediately puts a smile on his face. Sehun on the other hand is biting into his wrap like it’s nobody’s business. 

Jongin takes another bite and he almost moans at the taste, it was so fluffy and rich,

“Dude, I don’t know what you’re doing but stop,” Sehun looks at him in disgust and he takes a sip of his coffee, which in Jongin’s opinion is more disgusting. He stands up with his plate in hand and he ignores Sehun’s puzzled look as he casually makes his way to the counter. Suhyun eyes the half eaten cake on his plate and looks back up at him before she tightly smiles.

“Am I able to send my compliments to the chef?” Jongin grins and Suhyun seems like she doesn’t know what to do in this situation. Her eyes dart from Jongin to the curtains and Jongin could swear he could hear the gears working inside of her head. After coming to a decision she hurries into the kitchen and Jongin places down the plate as he waits. 

“Hello, I’m the pâtissier Do Kyungsoo,” Kyungsoo’s voice sounds smooth like chocolate and it immediately catches his attention. He lifts his head to give the pastry chef a compliment and he freezes when their eyes meet. Jongin doesn’t even have a chance to properly look over the man’s features when it all occurs. 

Both Jongin and Kyungsoo visibly tense when it all washes over them like cold water, hitting them unexpectedly as their black and white vision begins to melt away, into something much brighter, much more…  _ colourful _ . Jongin can see the alarm that mirrors his own on Kyungsoo’s face and he feels his heart racing when beautifully heart shaped lips stretch into a shy smile.

They continue to stare at each other for what seems to be much too long before Jongin finally rips his gaze away. He looks around the café in awe and he blinks rapidly to process the new colours, everything was so much brighter. Jongin meets Sehun’s confused face and he sees that even though he’s known him for years, he looks like a completely different person.

Jongin breaks into a goofy smile when he looks down at himself, his clothing clashes in all the wrong ways and he looks like a complete mess. A soft touch to his cheek lifts his head once more and Jongin looks deep into Kyungsoo’s wide eyes, their warm colour resembles the chocolate decorations on the cakes sitting in their display case.

Kyungsoo gently holds his left cheek and he looks Jongin up and down like he’s a sight to worship. Jongin can’t hide the giddiness inside of him and he grins happily as he takes Kyungsoo’s hand into his own, he takes a moment to appreciate the way their skin tones complement one another. Jongin’s skin tone is much deeper while Kyungsoo is more fair, 

“I’m Kim Jongin and I really liked your cake, also,” he giggles and the way Kyungsoo looks at him makes him want to melt just like the honey cake he ate. Kyungsoo hums in response and he patiently waits for Jongin to finish his sentence, 

“It’s very nice to meet you.”

  
  
  


Jongin stands in front of his closet with his hands on his hips and a look of confusion on his face. Now that he was exposed to colour, he really didn’t know what went together. Maybe he should’ve paid better attention to the labels in stores, so that at least he’d have clothing of the same colour, rather than miscellaneous pieces that were hard to match with each other.

Today he was going to be meeting Kyungsoo, his soulmate. They’d exchanged numbers after their encounter but because the other had still been at work, they couldn’t exactly drop everything just to chat for what could be hours. So they decided to meet on the following Sunday, when their schedules actually aligned.

Jongin still didn’t know much about colours and what they were called but he had to admit, life looked much better with them. He quickly grabs a random turtleneck and a pair of what he knows to be black pants before he slips them on. Jongin then hurries over to the washroom to check his hair and he can hear the pitter patter of his poodle Monggu following behind him.

With one last glance to the mirror he makes his way to the front door, slipping on his shoes and patting his pants to make sure he had his wallet and keys before he left. Kyungsoo had said they should meet back at the café since it was a place they both knew. It wasn’t that far of a walk from his apartment, or from his workplace actually so Jongin wasn’t too worried about being late.

His nerves warm him from the inside and he takes deep breaths, inhaling the gentle scent of autumn. His footsteps are much quicker today, excitement carrying him all the way down the leaf littered sidewalks. Jongin turns the corner and when he sees Kyungsoo waiting in front of the café, his heart jumps and he approaches, trying not to seem too eager.

Kyungsoo turns his head and smiles at him, his mouth is covered by a scarf and he has a pair of glasses sitting low on his nose. He looks all bundled up and Jongin wonders if he’s sensitive to the cold. In his opinion it wasn’t too cold outside, yet Kyungsoo was dressed as if it was the middle of winter. Jongin draws near and he stops about two feet away.

“Good afternoon,” Kyungsoo greets him and Jongin notices how there’s a slight tone of giddiness in his voice. They stand there quiet for a moment, awkward as they look at anything but each other. Kyungsoo is the one to break the silence,

“Shall we get brunch? There’s a place nearby that’s really nice,” he suggests and Jongin nods in a way he worries is too enthusiastic but Kyungsoo seems to relax a bit. They make their way down the street with Kyungsoo leading in the front while Jongin trails behind, his heart pounding and his mind whirring. He coughs and Kyungsoo looks back at him, moving his scarf down so he could speak more clearly.

“To be very honest, I was really excited about today, I barely slept a wink last night,” Kyungsoo speaks slowly with a bright smile on his face, he chuckles between his words and shakes his head bashfully. Jongin can feel himself melting inside and he feels delighted that Kyungsoo shared his true feelings with him.

“So what I mean to say is, I’m okay with things being a little awkward today. After all, it’s not like we won’t have other days right?” Kyungsoo tilts his head as he asks and Jongin can’t help but grin, nodding.

“Right,” he agrees and Kyungsoo’s cheeks flush a colour he doesn’t know the name of. But it’s quite pretty. Also, he appreciates Kyungsoo’s words much more than he thought he would, the promise of a second chance, a third, it really meant a lot to him. He’d been so worried about impressing his soulmate, he was so nervous but now there was a sense of comfort.

They arrive at what appears to be a family diner that Jongin’s never seen before. He follows Kyungsoo inside though, taking hold of the door held open for him as he enters. His eyes scan the diner and he sees that it has a retro theme, the floors are checkered and there are red booths along the outer walls. The tables are round and there are several families there, presumably because it was Sunday.

“Kyungsoo, I didn’t know you were dropping by today,” a man standing near the front counter sees them and comes closer with two menus tucked beneath his arm and a wide smile on his face. Jongin of course can only offer a polite smile since he has no idea who the man is but as he comes closer he sees that his name tag reads, ‘Baekhyun’.

“Table for two please, anywhere is fine,” Kyungsoo requests with two fingers held up like a peace sign. Baekhyun gives Jongin a very knowing look and for some reason he knows that the other man will have a lot of questions he’s going to attack Kyungsoo with later on. They follow Baekhyun to a small booth near the back and he places down the menus as the two sit across from each other,

“Just press the buzzer when you need me alright? Anything I can get you two to drink?” Baekhyun asks and he keeps eyeing Jongin with a little smile on his lips. Jongin chooses to ignore it for now. Kyungsoo on the other hand purses his lips and he slowly removes his scarf, it’s only now that Jongin notices that his glasses are slightly fogged up from the heat inside of the diner.

“May I have some tea please? And you Jongin?” Jongin looks over the drinks menu in a hurry before he decides to order water and Baekhyun nods as he heads off to the kitchen. Kyungsoo takes his time removing his jacket and he seems to neatly fold it before placing his scarf on top. 

“I recommend their bagels, those are really good,” Kyungsoo lifts up the menu to show Jongin what page the bagels are on and he takes his time skimming through the menu. Jongin purses his lips and he really wonders, did he want something sweet or savory? His eyes linger on the page before he flips it to the next which is filled with pasta options, he looks up and meets Kyungsoo’s gaze.

Kyungsoo hurriedly looks down at his menu and his cheeks flush with that pretty colour once more. Jongin makes sure most of his face is covered by his menu before he smiles. Baekhyun returns to the table with a teapot and a small cup as well as a tall glass of water. He then pulls out a notepad and a pen from the front pouch of his apron and he looks at both of them,

“What can I get you?” he asks as he writes something down and Jongin looks over to Kyungsoo, gesturing that he go first. His soulmate looks down at the menu once more before he points to a certain item and speaks out his order, Jongin would have heard it if he hadn’t been so mesmerized. When he came back to reality, Kyungsoo and Baekhyun were both waiting for him,

“Oh, sorry. Umm, a stack of honey waffles and some fruit on the side please?” Jongin orders and Baekhyun hurriedly scribbles on his notepad, smiling as he takes the menus and asks for them to wait a few minutes. Once Baekhyun leaves, they’re left alone with an awkward air, that they can’t seem to get rid of. Jongin takes a deep breath and decides to speak first,

“I guess we should start with introductions? My name is Kim Jongin and I turned 26 years old in January. I work as an accountant at a local firm close by and I live with my dog, Monggu,” he ends with a smile and wordlessly gestures for Kyungsoo to go next with an encouraging nod. Kyungsoo fiddles with his hands on his lap before he meets Jongin’s eyes,

“My name is Do Kyungsoo, I turned 27 this year and I studied in France to become a pâtissier. I work at Café Clover as the head of the kitchen so I seldom have any days off. I live alone but I’ve always wanted a dog,” he says with a shy look in his eye. Jongin gives Kyungsoo another general look over and he’s shocked to know that he’s older than him.

“I guess I should call you hyung then?” Jongin asks in a cheeky tone and waits for Kyungsoo’s nod before he takes a second to look around the diner. He could tell from the moment they entered that Kyungsoo wanted to absorb what the place looked like in colour, it was quite a colourful place, from the tiles to the booths, the bright signs all over the walls. Not to mention how he was seeing a friend of his in colour now.

“You know, I never thought I’d ever find my soulmate. The odds were so low I just…” Jongin’s words trail off and he doesn’t continue. A frown etching onto his face as he gets lost in his thoughts, how could he say what he wanted to in a way that wouldn’t offend his soulmate? He never wanted to see a hurt expression on Kyungsoo’s lovely face.

“You can tell me. I’d like to know your thoughts on all of… this,” he waves his hands around, gesturing to them both as he finishes his sentence. Jongin looks into Kyungsoo’s eyes and he sees no sense of hesitance, so he does what Kyungsoo has been with him this whole time, honest.

“The odds were so low, I didn’t bother trying. I dated who I wanted to and lived as well as I could without thinking that I was incomplete,” he finishes his previous thought and nausea erupts in his stomach, worried about how Kyungsoo would perceive him. Then again, he probably should have given his soulmate more credit because he has no judgement on his face.

“I understand, I was the same way actually… but I always had a small hope that I would meet you someday, and it may be too early to say but I’m glad I did,” Kyungsoo tilts his head to the side and he laughs. He seems almost like he can’t hold in his giggles and Jongin finds it infectious as his lips threaten to curl up as well.

  
  
  


The two exit the diner afterwards with their stomachs filled with warm food. Jongin shivers when a cold gust of wind passes them by and he scrunches up his face as he feels the impact. He didn’t think the temperature would drop since it had been afternoon when they met but as usual when it came to weather he was wrong.

“Which way are you heading, Jongin?” Kyungsoo’s voice comes out muffled from behind his scarf and once again he has to push it down so that his mouth is visible. Jongin had debated on whether he should drop by the office to finish off some extra work but if he were to go now he’d be way too exhausted by the end of the day so he decides that he’ll head home.

“Towards the café, I live nearby,” he answers and Kyungsoo seems to think about something. He almost seems upset? Jongin doesn’t know what he possibly did for his soulmate to suddenly change emotions and he panics internally but Kyungsoo realizes his surroundings and he looks almost apologetic.

“I’m sorry I didn’t mean to scowl, it’s just… I wanted to spend more time with you,” Kyungsoo’s cheeks are dusted with that pretty colour once more and Jongin makes a mental note to figure out what it’s called when he’s at home. He feels his heart pounding at Kyungsoo’s small confession and he finds himself falling into the pâtissier’s charms. 

“Would you be able to walk me back to the café then? If it isn’t too much trouble,” Jongin leans forward and Kyungsoo’s eyes widen to lengths he had no idea was possible. Kyungsoo’s eyes were so bright and clear, Jongin reminded himself not to stare and he looked down at the ground instead.

“Of course,” Kyungsoo answers in a smooth voice and he walks ahead, not looking behind as Jongin trots after him. Jongin feels a smile forcing its way onto his lips and he wipes his mouth to help remove it so that he won’t look like a creep. The distance from the diner to the café wasn’t that great so they really didn’t have that much more time together.

Kyungsoo pauses as they reach their destination and he turns around before he tilts his head to the café. Small wisps of air are escaping his lips and the temperature was dropping rapidly, Jongin felt a little guilty since he could assume that his soulmate didn’t do too well with the cold since he was so bundled up.

“Thank you for walking with me, and for today,” Jongin reaches out for Kyungsoo’s hands and he carefully takes them into his own, eyes trained on his face to make sure it was okay. Kyungsoo looks down at their joined hands with wide eyes, Jongin naturally winds their fingers and it’s like when they met. He hopes to warm Kyungsoo through his fingertips.

“Thank you Jongin, I had a great time. Get home safe alright?” Kyungsoo grins and he steps closer, before Jongin can too take a step back he leans up on his toes and presses a kiss against his soulmate’s cheek. Jongin freezes and he looks at Kyungsoo like he’s awestruck, which makes Kyungsoo giggle and he pats Jongin’s hands before he leaves.

Jongin whips his head around and he can see Kyungsoo waddling down the street. Suddenly, his soulmate turns and with his adorable smile he waves goodbye and Jongin can feel his blood rushing through his head. His soulmate was fatal, how was he supposed to keep himself from falling in love too quickly?

  
  
  


Jongin’s eyes are heavy as he hears the small chime ringing through the office, indicating that the work day was officially over. Unlike other days, he didn’t need to stay overtime and honestly he couldn’t be bothered, he was so tired. All he wanted to do was buy some stew from a nearby restaurant and head home. 

“Are you heading out Jongin?” He lifts his head and sees Sehun standing by the walls of his cubicle. Judging by the piping cup of coffee fresh in his friend’s hand, he wasn’t leaving like the very few of them who had no work overdue. Jongin stands and he begins gathering his things into the appropriate folders so that he can find them easily tomorrow.

“Yeah, I feel like I’m going to fall asleep at any minute now. How much do you have left?” Jongin asks and he looks over the numerous sticky notes all over the rim of his computer monitor, did he have any work to do for tonight? Sehun fixes his sleeve that’s beginning to unroll and he shrugs as Jongin packs his briefcase.

“Sheila Nails has an audit for me to handle and I haven’t even started the financial statements for old lady Byul’s shop yet,” Sehun sighs and Jongin pities his friend, audits always required so much more extra work. He sighs and makes sure his jacket is zipped up before he begins to leave his cubicle, walking Sehun back to his own since it was close to the door.

“Good luck, I’ll see you tomorrow Sehun,” Jongin waves goodbye and Sehun lazily returns it, slipping into his desk for another few hours of work. Jongin makes his way out of the office and when he opens the front door he’s met with a gust of cold air, his teeth instantly chatter and he shoves his free hand into his pocket, reminding himself that he needed a pair of gloves.

As Jongin walks down the few steps that lead from the office to the sidewalk he notices someone standing at the streetlight. His eyes widen when he sees Kyungsoo huddled up against the pole, a scarf over his nose and a beanie on top of his head, he’s wearing a thick jacket that reaches his knees and he’s shivering.

“Kyungsoo hyung?” Jongin hastens his steps and he jogs towards his soulmate who looks up at him with a bashful look on his face. Truthfully, they’d been texting non stop since the last time they met, and they wanted to meet again soon but because of their schedules it’d been difficult. Jongin was currently in the middle of tax season so he was busier than ever. It was only 6PM and he was well aware Kyungsoo was done work at 8, so what was he doing here?

“H-hey Jongin, sorry this is a little sudden isn’t it?” Jongin doesn’t like the way Kyungsoo looks so ashamed of himself. He shakes his head and when he hears his co-workers exiting the office he gestures to their left,

“Don’t worry about it, I wanted to see you too actually, shall we take a walk?” he suggests and Kyungsoo seems to be happy with that. Quietly, they start walking down the sidewalk, Jongin on the side of the street and Kyungsoo along the inside. Naturally, they don’t have much to say right away, Jongin doesn’t even know what to talk about. 

“You know Jongin, I’ve been thinking about you a lot. I wonder if it’s because we’re soulmates?” Kyungsoo asks as he meets Jongin’s eyes, he seems a little shy admitting it out loud. Jongin looks out to the streets and he notes how there are numerous cars driving by, it was rush hour after all.

“I’m sure it’s because we are, it makes sense,” Jongin states honestly and Kyungsoo’s lips quiver ever so slightly. If Jongin wasn’t naturally observant he wouldn’t have seen it, especially since Kyungsoo seemed to be so desperately controlling his expression. Thankfully he doesn’t appear hurt,

“Probably explains why you’re always on my mind as well,” Jongin adds quickly in a mumble and Kyungsoo perks up upon hearing that. The two begin to pass by a local park and Kyungsoo wordlessly asks Jongin if he’d like to enter, to which the accountant agrees. They walk side by side and there seems to be a few families occupying the park, judging by how it was getting dark they’d probably be leaving soon.

Jongin takes a chance to look over Kyungsoo, from his thick jacket to his black skinny jeans, he was wearing black shoes as well. The only colourful thing on him was the colour of his scarf and his beanie, which truthfully Jongin didn’t know the names of. They pause by a bench and Kyungsoo goes to sit down, patting the spot beside him with a heart shaped smile.

Jongin takes a seat beside his soulmate, keeping a safe distance although Kyungsoo casually lessened that as he scooted closer. Their elbows were slightly touching and they both looked at anything but each other. Within the silence, both of them had the same thought on their minds, they felt warm just being beside one another. Jongin’s eyes were trained on the way the blades of grass danced in the wind while Kyungsoo was watching the clouds move above.

“Have you done any research on the colours yet?” Jongin considers the question for a second. Kyungsoo sounds almost excited, like he’d been wanting to talk about what he’d learned. It makes his heart swell with affection but he also feels for the image of Kyungsoo wanting to talk to somebody, but could find no one who understood like Jongin did.

“I haven’t had the time to, tax season has really been stressing me out so when I get home all I do is sleep,” Jongin yawns and he stretches his arms and legs, sliding down on the bench like the professional he was. Kyungsoo seems amused at least and he watches as Jongin fixes his position and adjusts his dress shirt,

“Anything you’d like to share with me?” Kyungsoo’s eyes light up and he pulls out his phone, presumably to look at notes he’d taken down and the sight is so precious Jongin just wants to pull him into a hug and listen to him talk forever. He clears his throat and wills his thoughts away, since Kyungsoo probably wouldn’t appreciate an impromptu hug.

“I actually haven’t learned a lot either but I found something interesting, I noticed it when we first met. We have different skin tones right?” Kyungsoo puts his phone back into his pocket and he holds up his hand waiting for Jongin to do the same. Their palms touch and it’s clear that their skin tones are far from the same. Jongin lowers his hand, looking at Kyungsoo and waiting for him to finish his thought.

“So after some research, I learned that there are an array of different skin colours, and Jongin let me tell you, they’re all so beautiful. They range from pale to deep, rich in colour. Pale as in lighter, I’d be considered pale, while you’d be considered tan,” Kyungsoo explains and he looks so in awe. Skin tones weren’t exactly unknown to those who saw in black and white, but it wasn’t nearly as clear.

“I learned something about how people refer to tanned skin and I found it quite beautiful,” Kyungsoo shifts so that he’s facing Jongin, with one leg crossed beneath the other. Jongin sits there quietly, since he can tell Kyungsoo is preparing to do something and the last thing he’d want to do is somehow scare his soulmate off.

“Did you know that people refer to tanned skin as golden, or sunkissed?” Kyungsoo moves closer unconsciously and he lifts his arm, placing a hand on Jongin’s cheek like when they’d first met. He looks so lost in his actions that Jongin doesn’t move, simply relishing in the warmth seeping onto his cold skin.

Kyungsoo’s eyes widen as he realizes what he’s doing and he looks embarrassed, Jongin frowns and he doesn’t wish to see that look on his face. When Kyungsoo attempts to lower his hand, Jongin merely holds it in its place, eyes boring deep into his soulmate’s as he begins to lean in.

“Does that make you the sun?” Jongin screams internally at his own cheese but Kyungsoo’s reaction was all he needed to edge even closer. Kyungsoo’s eyes widen beautifully and his cheeks are tinted in that special colour once more (he made a mental note to research what it was called), his lips part as he exhales and as he accepts Jongin’s wordless request, his lids flutter closed.

When their lips meet it almost feels magical. Although to anyone else they were simply two men on a park bench. Kyungsoo’s lips are soft against his own, and he really likes the feeling. There was something simple about it, it felt comfortable, right. It was a mere touch of lips and they were soon parting, when they did it was Jongin’s turn to panic,

“Shit, I’m sorry was that too much?-” his words are sealed by Kyungsoo’s lips meeting his own and he can feel his soulmate’s fingers grasping onto the hairs on his nape, holding him close, reassuring him. Their lips move together naturally, not too rough or gentle but at a perfect pace for them. Jongin unconsciously follows when Kyungsoo pulls away and his eyes open in surprise.

Kyungsoo has the brightest smile on his face and it spreads to Jongin who smiles right back. There it is again, the beautiful colour dusting his cheeks and Jongin hopes to see it more.

  
  
  


Jongin rushes towards the bus stop as he sees the bus approaching, if he missed this one he’d have to wait 20 minutes for the next and frankly speaking, he’d be late for his date. Thankfully, the bus driver sees him and waits, gesturing with kind eyes that it was okay to take his time. Jongin still hurried on though, not wanting to cause any kind of inconvenience to the other passengers.

Of course there are no seats available but he perches himself by the door, hand secure on a pole as he checks his phone. His feet plant down on the ground and he curls his toes for extra support as the bus turns. He pockets his phone and looks around, seeing a number of families taking advantage of the beautiful spring weather on a Sunday afternoon.

Although the air inside the bus is slightly humid, the breeze coming from the open windows at the back are relaxing. Jongin looks around the bus and he sees a number of people in an array of coloured clothing, ranging from green to black to red, he could tell who didn’t have colour in their vision. They looked comfortable though, a little empty, yet comfortable. Just like how he had been. 

Jongin’s head perks up as he hears the name of his stop and he scrambles off of the bus, not wanting to get caught between the doors like he did last time. Today, he and Kyungsoo were going to meet at a greenhouse. Quite unexpected if you asked Jongin but Kyungsoo had shyly admitted that he’d always wanted to go, but when he had no colour in his sight he didn’t feel like he was allowed to. 

The cold months had passed, meaning Jongin’s work had slowed down however Kyungsoo’s on the other hand had grown increasingly busy. Pastries and cakes were popular in the spring, when people had get togethers and picnics, so Kyungsoo had been working on his usual days off to finish orders that usually came in batches of dozens or more.

Kyungsoo had managed to finish yesterday’s orders just in time and the café was closed this sunday so that it’s workers could rest. Which in turn meant that Jongin got to see Kyungsoo again so he was perfectly fine with that. So far their relationship had consisted of, late dinners after work, phone calls in the evening as well as breakfast on days Jongin left early to stop by the café.

Jongin walks across a patch of grass that had been right by the bus stop and he scuffled down the small hill, leading towards what looked like a house attached to a greenhouse. He can’t see a single car in sight and it worries him but he approaches the door of the house, knocking before he enters with a whisper of a greeting. 

The sound of a bell chimes through the air and Jongin instantly smells soil and something floral. His eyes are curious as he looks around what appears to be a small shop, there were piles of packaged fertilizer to his left and clay pots of all sizes to his right. Ahead of him were short aisles that held other knick knacks that would make more sense to him if he knew something about gardening. Only then does he notice the short elderly woman standing behind the counter,

“Welcome, are you Jongin?” She asks and her voice is like that of a melody, clear and chipper. Jongin clears his throat and he steps inside fully, allowing the door to close behind him. His footsteps cause the floorboards to moan beneath his weight and he shifts closer to the front desk, 

“Yes that’s me, umm,” despite being a professional accountant, he loses his words in a split second in front of a kind old lady. Jongin can feel his face warming up as he shifts on one foot to the other. The elderly lady laughs and she gestures to a glass door that Jongin hadn’t noticed before, through it he could see lush green. 

“Kyungsoo-sshi went inside earlier,” she says simply and Jongin bows his head to her, thanking her properly before he takes slow strides to the door. The handle is warm to the touch and when he pushes it open, he’s immediately hit with a wave of humidity. He can feel the sun beating down on him even though there are leaves overhead that provide shade. Thankfully he is wearing a thin v neck shirt today with three quarter sleeves, jeans and sandals. 

Jongin thinks that he’s never seen such an array of natural colour before. It’s absolutely stunning. Primarily he sees green, along with some other colours he can recognize like blue, yellow, brown, and pink which was now his favourite colour because he had learned it was the colour of Kyungsoo’s cheeks when he was flustered. He begins walking along the designated pathway and the place doesn’t seem too large, so where is Kyungsoo?

As he’s scanning the luscious shrubbery he spots a very familiar chestnut, first he sees the top of a shaved head but then the person stands and Jongin sees Kyungsoo’s adorable face, grinning and waving at him. Jongin hurries over, happy to see his soulmate after a week or so of not meeting. Kyungsoo sent him a selca two nights ago, showcasing his new haircut. Although the photo had been 80% his forehead, 15% his shaved head and the other 5% had been his eyes. 

“Hi Jongin, how are you?” Kyungsoo greets casually and today he is wearing a cream coloured crewneck, black jeans that left his ankles bare and a pair of brown sneakers are on his feet. He looks effortlessly handsome and Jongin wants to jump him but knows better. They weren’t completely foreign to touching one another, not after their first kiss. Their dates usually ended with a small makeout session and a hug of encouragement to last till the next time they met.

“I’m well hyung, how are you?” Jongin asks and he can see that Kyungsoo has a pen and notebook in his hands. He’s definitely taking notes again Jongin thinks and he likes how Kyungsoo is always eager to learn more, he’d once mentioned that he liked to take inspiration from flowers for his sweets. 

“I’m great, isn’t it so wonderful in here?” Kyungsoo spreads out his arms to emphasize and Jongin unconsciously wraps his arms around him, pressing a kiss onto his head before letting go. Kyungsoo’s cheeks immediately turn pink and Jongin adores it so much. He looks around and the greenhouse ceiling was much higher than he imagined it to be.

“To be honest, it’s not my kind of thing but it’s interesting,” Jongin answers and Kyungsoo doesn’t even feel hurt in the slightest. It was clear since their first date that they were both honest people, and they both appreciated honesty. Of course in a manner that wasn’t rude or blunt, that was something else entirely. They spoke their opinions respectfully and mindfully of the other person’s feelings.

“I had a feeling you’d say that, I’m glad you’re here with me though,” Kyungsoo says quietly and he turns back to the flowers he was studying. Jongin peers at the plant with interest, its leaves were sharp and the flower itself opened up. It looked almost violent in a way, like it would eat him. The colour was on the tip of his tongue and he couldn’t really remember,

“Are these… orange?” Jongin asks and Kyungsoo can tell that he is unsure. Unlike Kyungsoo who spent whatever free time he could reading up about colours, Jongin tended to forget as soon as he remembered. The names never matched up to the right colours in his head but at least Kyungsoo was there to guide him.

“These are red Jongin, orange is the same colour as the fruit that has the same name remember?” Kyungsoo explains in a simple and concise manner. Jongin’s nods his head in realization and he rebukes any of his hostile thoughts that attempt to slander him from being so stupid, he was still learning after all.

Jongin follows as Kyungsoo moves from bench to bench, writing down small notes about each. He doesn’t even mind the silence, if anything he’s just happy to be spending time with Kyungsoo like this. He also takes some mental notes as well, when he learns that the names and colours of the plants are written on small labels. Jongin wonders if they’re accurate.

“Hey Kyungsoo hyung, what’s your favourite flower?” Jongin asks and Kyungsoo finishes off his sketch of a rose before he looks up at his soulmate. He has an excited smile on his lips and he waddles off. Jongin follows him and they arrive at a bench that’s filled with a numerous amount of the same kind of flower, only the colours were different.

“These, I love green hydrangeas,” Kyungsoo gestures to the flowers that sits in bundles and Jongin’s immediate image is a bundle of leaves but he can see how the petals are a softer colour, to be honest next to the others they seem almost bland. Jongin can see how they range from pink to purple, blue to white and then green?

“Why green? Aren’t they just the same colour as the leaves? Just a different shade?” Jongin asks and Kyungsoo is aware of that. With a flick of his fingers he gestures for Jongin to come closer and they lean down together, observing the flowers. Even upon seeing them up close he can’t really understand Kyungsoo’s line of thinking, then again the man’s favourite colour was white, he was unpredictable.

“Did you know that the other coloured hydrangeas usually fade to green over time?” Kyungsoo begins and Jongin frowns. He looks over to the other flowers and he finds it unbelievable, how could colours so vibrant fade? Where did the pigments go? He was so confused. Kyungsoo laughs and he recalls the research he had done.

“I like to learn the meanings of flowers, I found it interesting how certain flowers held a meaning to themselves yet that meaning changed depending on what colour was portrayed in the petals. Like how pink hydrangeas stand for heartfelt emotion, blue stands for frigidity/apology, white stands for boasting/bragging and purple stands for the desire to deeply understand,” Kyungsoo explains and Jongin notes how different they all are.

“Yet, I couldn’t find any meaning for green. I learned that hydrangeas can be planted any colour, it all depends on the acidity of the soil they’re raised in. There were some complaints about how people would attempt to plant pink and they’d somehow turn out green,” Jongin would probably complain too if he wanted to achieve a beautiful colour and ended up with something so… dull. 

“Green hydrangeas are the result of mother nature and there’s really no telling if they’ll bloom the colour you desire or the colour mother nature decides. I really liked it, personally I really like how they look as well,” Kyungsoo finishes his explanation and Jongin can understand why he finds it so interesting. There were a lot of things that held Kyungsoo’s interest, he was always thinking about different theories and reasons why things were the way they were and Jongin liked that about him.

“I keep buying them actually, my apartment is filled with green hydrangeas,” Kyungsoo laughs and he says it in a way that seems like he’s revealing a dirty secret. Jongin beams as he imagines Kyungsoo’s cozy and previously monotone apartment filled with fresh flowers. He’d only been there about three times or so, when Kyungsoo invited him over for dinner. But it’d been a long time since he visited.

“I’d love to see them,” Jongin hints and Kyungsoo looks up at him with a knowing smile. He folds up his notebook and caps his pen as he turns to face Jongin. Kyungsoo begins walking to a more private area, where the shrubs cover them completely from the glass door, away from the elderly woman’s curious gaze.

“Would you like to come over?” Kyungsoo asks and Jongin knows he has to get the upper hand this time around. So he acts like he’s pondering over how he wants to answer and all the while Kyungsoo looks at him like he’s the only thing that matters to him right now. It’s very distracting.

“Are you sure? I may never leave.”-Kyungsoo pauses in shock as he processes the words and Jongin feels smug inside, but he’s also panicking because what if this wasn’t what Kyungsoo wanted at all? He’d rather not create any kind of tense or awkward atmosphere between them, not when they were finally comfortable with each other. Kyungsoo tilts his head and he grins, his cheeks pink,

“Jongin, would you like to move in with me?” Jongin sputters on air and he reacts almost a little dramatically to Kyungsoo’s amusement. His previous confidence is replaced with a pout and he feels sulky, he wanted to be really smooth and casual about it but Kyungsoo had been way too blunt. 

“Really? I’m messy, I whine a lot, I love cuddles and Monggu has to come with me,” before Jongin can say anything else, Kyungsoo’s lips are on his own. His eyes fall closed and he automatically wraps his arms around his soulmate’s waist, always pleased at how nicely they fit together. When he opens his eyes Kyungsoo is laughing, Jongin can feel the warm rumble in his own chest and Kyungsoo pecks his lips once more,

“I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

  
  
  


A stream of unwanted sunlight was what woke Jongin that morning. He groans and tries to shield his eyes but his arms are occupied and he doesn’t want to let go of Kyungsoo. He really should have listened when Kyungsoo had told him to close the blinds last night, he however had been adamant about using moonlight as the lighting for their lovemaking. 

Jongin opens his eyes and he immediately sees the beautifully shaven head of his dreams. Even though he’s half asleep,it doesn’t stop him from pressing a kiss onto Kyungsoo’s forehead, although his aim was more than off and he ends up placing a slobbery kiss onto his soulmate’s eyelid. A small whimper rips from Kyungsoo’s throat and he turns onto his back, before he positions himself like a starfish.

The duvet slips from his body and all of the marks littered onto his skin were exposed for Jongin’s eyes to feast on. He leans up onto his elbow and looks over Kyungsoo’s skin that was dyed in spots of purples and pinks, maybe he’d gone a little overboard last night. Suddenly, Kyungsoo rolls over and he straddles Jongin in a heartbeat but he doesn’t sit up and lies down on top of him instead.

“Good morning hyung,” Jongin chirps and Kyungsoo keeps his eyes shut but a smile appears on his lips and his fingers are playfully dancing up Jongin’s bicep. Things are quiet today, as opposed to their usual mornings where they’re rushing to work after spending much too long messing around in the sheets. Today, was all about them and they wanted to cherish every moment of it.

“Good morning Jongin,” Kyungsoo finally replies after he fails to go back to sleep. He sits up and begins wiping his eyes with his fists. Jongin watches him shamelessly and when Kyungsoo meets his gaze he rolls his eyes and leans down to give Jongin some kisses on his cheeks. They both have a strict ‘no kisses with morning breath’ rule so Jongin is more than content with what he receives.

“Are you feeling okay?” Jongin lets his hands wander to the lower part of Kyungsoo’s back and he massages the skin there. Kyungsoo shivers under his ministrations and groans, to be honest anyone would be turned on if they had their lover naked on their lap but for Jongin he was more so concerned at the furrow between Kyungsoo’s brows.

“Quite sore, I don’t know where you found that position but we’re not trying it again,” Kyungsoo sounds almost bitter but he doesn’t sound regretful at least. It wasn’t often that they tried out new activities in the bedroom since they enjoyed their usual sensual lovemaking but Jongin had reassured that this new position would be life changing. Of course he’d been wrong and the pain Kyungsoo was feeling was definitely a result of that.

“Come on, we actually have things to do today,” Kyungsoo sighs and he rolls off of Jongin with difficulty, he’s shameless as he stands in all of his glory and he looks over his shoulder at Jongin’s captivated expression with confidence. Jongin snaps out of it when Kyungsoo grabs a pair of boxers from each of their respective dressers and he follows after his soulmate, tripping on the duvet as he does.

“What do you mean we have things to do?” Jongin asks as he steps into the washroom. The tiles are cold under his feet and he wonders if their air conditioning was up too high. Then again it had been a really hot summer and it was usually Jongin himself who complained about the heat more than Kyungsoo did. 

Kyungsoo drops their boxers onto the counter and he fiddles with the shower, wanting the water to be the right temperature before they both get in. He leans over and grunts, muttering about how Jongin should be the one doing this since he’s technically injured. Jongin ignores Kyungsoo’s grumpy morning self and he can’t help but poke the soft flesh of his ass.

“We don’t actually have anything to do but I’m quite hungry and I’m sure you want to take Monggu out for a walk don’t you?” Kyungsoo steps into the shower and Jongin follows suit, squeezing close so that their bodies touch even though there was more than enough space in their shower. Kyungsoo doesn’t mind this since he knows how clingy Jongin is and he welcomes the touch.

They fall into silence as they take turns washing each other’s hair, well more so Kyungsoo takes his time washing Jongin’s hair since his head is still shaved and he doesn’t have to do much with it. Kyungsoo rests his head onto Jongin’s shoulder as the latter runs shower gel all over him, and he appreciates the extra care Jongin gives to his lower back. Jongin lets his fingers linger over every mark he made and he really likes the contrasts of colours.

When the water begins to run cold they decide to get out of the shower. Kyungsoo hands Jongin a towel and they dry themselves individually, both slipping on their clean boxers before they begin to brush their teeth. Jongin looks at Kyungsoo’s reflection as he brushes and vice versa, they can’t help but smile with froth all over their mouths. Both Jongin and Kyungsoo rinse their mouths and dry their hands.

“Would you like a sweet or savory breakfast?” Kyungsoo asks as he exits the washroom first, searching for an appropriate outfit fit for a day of lounging around. Jongin turns off the washroom light and does the same. Kyungsoo throws on an oversized white t shirt and a pair of black gym shorts, Jongin on the other hand wears black track pants and a navy blue v neck.

The thing about Kyungsoo was that, he was not only an amazing pâtissier but he was also an amazing chef. So every day Jongin was blessed with eating wonderful meals which he was definitely not complaining about. However, like any other kind of chef, Kyungsoo liked to experiment. And since they lived together, who was a better tester for his new pastries than Jongin himself? He loved sweets, he really did, but he always chooses savory if provided a choice. 

“Savory please, I’m going to go take out Monggu before he gets upset with me,” Jongin laughs and he grabs his phone and wallet before he hurries out of the bedroom and into the living room. He scans the room for a moment trying to spot a tuft of curly brown fur, but he doesn’t have to look for long because soon enough he hears the pitter patter of little feet and he feels something attack his ankles.

“Good morning Monggu, ready for your morning walk?” Jongin asks the dog in excitement and Monggu wags his tail, yipping joyfully as he prances towards the front door where the leashes are. Jongin puts on his flip flops and he opens the door only to see, rain. He’d never experienced a sunshower before. A frown is etched onto his face in an instant and he sighs, feeling apologetic for getting Monggu excited for no reason. He grabs a doggy bag and looks down at the small animal,

“Okay, I’ll take you down for your potty but we’ll have to come right back up. I’m sorry bud,” Jongin avoids the hurt look in Monggu’s eyes and he carries the small dog in his arms. He closes the door behind him and makes his way past the others room quietly before he makes his way down the rickety staircase which leads down to the other apartments. Jongin brings Monggu to a patch of grass where the dog always does his morning business and waits.

Jongin cleans up after Monggu is done and tosses the bag into the trashcan before he carries the dog all the way back up to their apartment. When he comes back inside, he can hear the sound of Kyungsoo humming and he can smell rich stew. Monggu runs inside and into his cozy cave bed and Jongin takes a seat at the kitchen island. 

“I didn’t realize it would be raining since it was sunny when we woke up,” Kyungsoo admits and Jongin sighs. They usually planned to stay inside anyways so he made a mental note to play with Monggu extra today so that the small dog would be able to get it’s exercise. Kyungsoo begins setting up the table and Jongin wordlessly takes over, allowing Kyungsoo to finish off the stew and eggs he had made.

As they eat Jongin finds himself staring at Kyungsoo, his mind wandering to how happy he was. How thankful he was that he was able to meet his soulmate, thankful that his soulmate turned out to be not only a lover but a good friend as well. A few months ago, Jongin wouldn’t even have had considered the possibility, yet here he was, with Kyungsoo. 

“Stop staring and finish up so I can wash the dishes,” Kyungsoo teases him and Jongin blinks as he’s snapped out of his reverie. He thanks Kyungsoo for the meal and leaves the table since he usually ends up getting in the way and during the weekend it was Kyungsoo’s turn to wash the dishes. He shuffles over to the living room and pats the floor, waiting for Monggu to come to him.

Kyungsoo begins humming to another song as he washes the dishes, Jongin on the other hand is giggling as he tackles his dog with much needed kisses and love. He then begins tossing a ball back and forth, allowing Monggu to run around to burn off some energy since they couldn’t do much on a rainy day. Jongin isn’t sure when the sound of running water ceases but when he looks up he sees Kyungsoo leaning on the counter with a smile on his face,

“What would you like to do today?” Kyungsoo asks after a moment and Jongin purses his lips. On some days they’d watch a movie together, others Jongin would be working while Kyungsoo reads beside him, or they’d simply sit together talking about various things. Jongin looked at the television and a thought occurred to him,

“Wasn’t there a movie you were dying to see? Is it on Netflix?” Kyungsoo shrugs and he walks over to the couch, settling against the cushions as he fishes around for the remote that Jongin leaves in a different place every time. Monggu abandons his owner and he hurries into Kyungsoo’s lap, Jongin takes a second to process the betrayal before he pouts and snuggles close to Kyungsoo’s side.

“Want to watch it with me?” Kyungsoo asks and Jongin looks at the movie poster before he skims the description. He knows for sure he’ll fall asleep but most of the time watching movies together ended with Jongin asleep and Kyungsoo watching on his own anyhow. So he nods and gets comfortable as the film starts.

Within 20 minutes it’s safe to say that Jongin is bored. Kyungsoo likes to watch older movies, and most of those were black and white or silent. Jongin was never a fan of movies to begin with, he was mainly a manga reader and anime watcher, although he rarely had time for that after he’d pursued his career. So he does what his heart tells him to do and he watches Kyungsoo instead.

Jongin lets his eyes memorize every inch of Kyungsoo’s face, the slopes of his cheeks, the colour so vibrant on his skin, so bright in his eyes. His stomach feels warm and he’s almost giddy as he thinks about how much he likes this, having Kyungsoo beside him. He lets his arms wrap around Kyungsoo’s waist and he presses a kiss to his shoulder before he rests his chin there and continues staring.

“I’m not the movie Jongin,” Kyungsoo points out but he does turn his head, humouring his soulmate with a kiss on the lips before he turns his attention back to the film. Jongin takes that opportunity to take hold of Kyungsoo’s hand and he presses the palm against his lips, which makes Kyungsoo squirm because it feels ticklish.

“Watch and then explain it to me later, I like listening to you talk,” Kyungsoo’s cheeks dust with pink because he’s well aware of how much Jongin likes his voice. Jongin looks up at Kyungsoo’s relaxed expression before he looks down at Monggu who was napping peacefully on Kyungsoo’s thighs. 

Jongin smiles and he really does feel thankful that he managed to meet his soulmate after all.

  
  
  


“Thank you, I’ll send you an email with the details later once I’ve calculated the overall balance,” Jongin says as he stands up and holds out his hand for the man across from him to take. His client Minseok, smiles and shakes his hand, his grip firm. Jongin waits for the man to open the door for him and they walk down the hallway together,

“I’m sorry I wasn’t able to get you those documents sooner, oh and that you had to come all this way,” Minseok says and Jongin wants to argue, saying that the documents could’ve been sent by fax or that he could’ve gone down to the office himself but he knows better and Minseok has been his client since he started working at his firm.

“It really is no problem hyung, although it can be inconvenient for me to come all the way out just to get your signature,” Jongin says honestly, he always does. When it comes to Minseok however, these remarks often go right over his head, which leaves Jongin back at square one. They pass by some desks on their way towards the door and Jongin can see how the workers are all diligently working their Sunday away.

“I’m sorry Jongin, our office is just always so busy. I’ll be on a lookout for your email, bye now!” And just like that he’s gently shoved out of the front door. Jongin sighs and he adjusts his grip on his briefcase before he checks his watch. It’s currently 3:45PM so Kyungsoo shouldn’t have started on dinner just yet. Jongin had told him he’d be done by 4PM anyhow. He hurries down the front steps of the office and onto the sidewalk. Near the train station was none other than Kyungsoo’s favourite restaurant and Jongin wanted to surprise him.

The one year anniversary of the first day they met had flown right past them. Jongin had been hauled up in an audit while Kyungsoo had been busy with preparing pies and cakes for Thanksgiving. Other than a small celebration held early in the morning, they didn’t have any time together and Jongin really wanted to make up for it. 

Once he enters the restaurant it’s clear that they aren’t busy yet, it was well before dinner time after all. Jongin quickly orders an order of kimchi spaghetti and chicken cutlet and he waits in one of the seats by the door. The last time they went to this restaurant together was almost three months ago. It was a half hour trip by train and neither of them had a car so they weren’t able to come here often. Although they could probably both take Kyungsoo’s scooter but his soulmate wasn’t confident in traveling long distances.

He smiles when he realizes that he’s been thinking about Kyungsoo all day. Sunday was usually their shared day off and it pained him to think about his soulmate all alone at home. Then again, everyone needs alone time and Kyungsoo was probably having a good time with Monggu. Jongin sighs at his own muddled thoughts and he leans back against the wall, closing his eyes.

Jongin perks up when his name is called and he pays for the food before he thanks them and leaves. As he’s crossing the street he notices that his vision begins to pulse. Confused, he hurries across and stands completely still. Jongin perches against a streetlight and he looks around, trying to see whether or not anything was happening to his vision. There’s a feeling in the pit of his stomach and he doesn’t like it, it’s making him nauseous. 

He looks down at his hands and he can still see the gold of his watch, the navy blue of his dress shirt and the brown of the takeout bag. Jongin shakes his head and he pulls out his phone, wanting to call Kyungsoo. He’s surprised to see that his phone is ringing and that he was one unread message. Whenever he met with clients, he kept his phone on silent and Jongin doesn’t recognize this number but he answers anyways.

“Hello, Kim Jongin speaking,” his voice is shaking. There’s sweat forming on the nape of his neck and he doesn’t feel well at all. Jongin waits for the voice on the line to collect themselves and he prays that this is just a friend or a client who happened to get a new phone number.

“Kim Jongin-sshi, I am Constable Park and unfortunately there’s been an accident involving Do Kyungsoo.”  _ An accident? _ But Kyungsoo was safe at home. He was at home playing with Monggu, or he was sleeping, reading, possibly even eating, there was no way he could’ve been in an accident.

“We’ll need you to come to the Severance Hospital as soon as possible,” Jongin hangs up the phone and he breaks into a sprint. He dashes down the sidewalk, eyes alert for a taxi. Jongin stands by the street and he waves an arm desperately, his vision pulses once more and panic arises inside of him, he could’ve sworn he saw a splotch of black and white just now.

Thankfully, a taxi stops in front of him and Jongin practically yells his destination at the poor woman who politely requests that he wear his seatbelt. Jongin clutches his briefcase close to him and he prays. He has no religion but he prays hard for anyone who would possibly listen to him, he prays that it’s the wrong Do Kyungsoo, that this is all a dream, that Kyungsoo is alright. 

His mind is going haywire and he doesn’t even know how to calm himself down. Not while the colours are draining from his sight. Jongin calls Kyungsoo’s name constantly within his head, not knowing what else to think of. Kyungsoo would be just fine, he’d promised that they’d see each other after he was finished work, he promised. The woman driving seems to notice his distress and she almost seems afraid of him. 

After much too long they finally arrive at the hospital and Jongin doesn’t even look at the price when he swipes his card. He thanks the woman and rushes into the emergency centre. The smell of antibiotics immediately hits his nose and the hospital is dyed in a shade of white, reminding him why he never liked them to begin with. Jongin shakes his head and he tries to hold onto the colours, he tries to hold onto Kyungsoo.

Jongin takes a step forward but he doesn’t know where to go, he doesn’t know which way to run. Finally, one of the various nurses from behind the counter decides to approach him and Jongin’s grip tightens on the handle of his briefcase unconsciously. A petite woman stands in front of him, concern all over her face,

“Excuse me sir, how can I help you?” she asks and before Jongin can answer he feels a knot in the centre of his chest and he steps back confused. Jongin watches helplessly as the colours fade and he falls to the floor when he’s returned to the world of black and white.

  
  
  


_ Wait for me at the station, I’ll come pick you up. Stay safe, I’ll see you soon _

_ I love you _

  
  
  


Jongin sits in the living on the couch with his knees cradled against his chest and Monggu by his feet. He finds comfort in having the fluffy creature beside him, he feels selfish, he can tell that Monggu is holding back his usual excitement for the sake of his owner. His mind is a blur and unreal scenes of the hospital, the body, the funeral, and their empty home haunt him. 

Thankfully, Jongin’s workplace gave him a temporary leave, reassuring him that he didn’t need to worry about working for now. He appreciated that. Although they didn’t know the severity of losing one’s soulmate, they could sympathize well enough. Jongin can feel his stomach crying for food but he only curls into himself further. Food was the last thing on his mind at the moment. 

With blurry eyes he looks around the apartment that was once so bright and colourful, now dyed in a familiar scheme of black and white. The hydrangeas in the vase situated on the kitchen island appear wilted and he wonders if they’ve begun to brown. He’d have to buy new ones as soon as possible, green, Kyungsoo loved green hydrangeas. Kyungsoo… Jongin feels his throat closing up and he shakes his head.

The sound of the doorbell is what saves him from being consumed by his memories once more and he gets off of the couch almost too eagerly. Stumbling towards the door as he turns the lock and pulls it open. The sight of Sehun and Baekhyun is what greets him and he mentally curses at himself for not knowing better, of course it wouldn’t be Kyungsoo, why would it be when he’s gone now? 

Jongin shakes his head and he hits himself on the head, mumbling about how it’d be better for him to come to terms with the truth. Sehun and Baekhyun watch the scene worriedly. They both enter and Baekhyun gently closes the door behind him as they remove their shoes and follow Jongin to the living room. The smell of fresh food fills the house and Jongin can’t help but feel sick, nonetheless he sits down on the couch and looks at the two.

“Hey, we brought you some stuff, don’t worry we avoided… you know,” Sehun says and albeit unnecessary Jongin is well aware of his friend’s usual blunt tongue. The food smells familiar, most likely coming from the diner Baekhyun works at. They set the plastic bag down in front of him and Jongin wryly smiles, knowing that they avoided anything sweet for his own sake. 

“How are you doing?” Sehun asks and Jongin can see how out of place they look standing in front of him. They came to visit whenever they could when they were done work, but whenever they did they never stayed for long and they never got comfortable, almost as though they were on pins and needles around him. Jongin could understand, he’d been less than friendly since Kyungsoo left.

“It’s difficult… losing your colours and your soulmate all at once,” the words only take a split second to hit Jongin the wrong way before he stands with his eyes cold and his fists clenched. Baekhyun covers his mouth and he too knows that his words didn’t match his intentions, Sehun watches his friend warily, prepared to step in between the two if it did end up becoming physical.

“The colours don’t matter, it was always about Kyungsoo, all I want his Kyungsoo,” Jongin grits his teeth and he can feel his vision blurring once more. His hands shake as they unclench and his frown melts into an expression of complete despair. He doesn’t say a word when Baekhyun apologizes nor does he make a move when they leave him all alone. Jongin falls back onto the couch and Monggu rushes off to the door.

The dog sits there obediently with his tail wagging and his nose up in the air. Jongin doesn’t know what to think and he wipes his eyes free of tears, sniffling. He assumes it’s because Sehun and Baekhyun just left but when his gaze wanders over to the numbers displayed on the clock he knows. It’s currently 8:15PM, which was when Kyungsoo usually came home. His heart aches and he takes a deep breath,

“Monggu, come over here buddy, he’s not coming home anymore,” saying the words aloud is what hurts the most and Jongin can hear his own voice breaking. Monggu looks at him confused but he dashes over when his owner calls for him. Jongin holds the pup dear in his lap and he buries his face into soft fur before he cries.

  
  
  


Jongin’s days pass before he can grasp them and suddenly he’s sitting in his cubicle, answering phone calls and typing as though he’s a machine. It’s been a month since he last saw Kyungsoo. 31 days, 744 hours and 44,640 minutes. A wave of nausea erupts in his stomach and he sits back, taking deep breaths as he pauses. He takes a moment to listen to the sounds of the office.

The sound of typing, subtle chatter, printers and fax machines, the phone ringing and his coworkers talking amongst themselves. Jongin despises himself for thinking this way, but he doesn’t want to be like them anymore. Unlike his coworkers who haven’t found their soulmates, he did. He saw colour and he loved in colour. To them, life may just be black and white but to him, his life was dyed by Kyungsoo. 

Jongin denies the black and white in his vision. The splash of colour so evident in his memory was what woke him up every morning, it was what reminded him that the year he spent with Kyungsoo was real and that it wasn’t a fantasy. He feels empty. He holds his head between his shaking hands, clenching his eyes at the constant thoughts that wouldn’t leave him alone. Without thinking twice, his feet carry him to Sehun’s cubicle.

Sehun is on the phone with a client when he arrives so he waits quietly. His friend notices him and gives him a nod that he doesn’t return. Jongin doesn’t listen to the conversation but he can tell by the hushed tones that Sehun was trying to end it as soon as possible. He feels thankful yet apologetic to his best friend who had to deal with him. Jongin waits patiently and Sehun soon hangs up the phone, turning in his chair to face him. As usual, he doesn’t speak and simply waits for Jongin to gather his thoughts.

“You know what’s unfair?” Jongin’s voice is barely above a whisper and Sehun almost misheard him. Jongin can feel his chest squeezing again and he takes in lungfuls of air to keep himself calm. He rubs his fingers together and his eyes are trained on a single spot on the wall of Sehun’s cubicle, he can remember it from when he accidentally started Sehun who had been taking a sip of his coffee.

“How easily everything went back to normal, it was almost instant, the way the colours faded when Kyungsoo did,” Sehun visibly tenses at the mention of his late soulmate and Jongin doesn’t blame him. It’s silent between them and Jongin carefully wraps his arms around himself with his eyes wide,

“It’s almost like he didn’t exist at all, it’s like we didn’t love each other… I miss him, I miss his bright brown eyes and his pink cheeks,” 

  
  
  


“Dr. Kim, your client is here for his weekly session,” Junmyeon lifts his head from the documents strewn across his desk and when he checks the time, he realizes how his break was already over. He clears his throat and stands up, leaving his office before he greets his assistant Jongdae, at the door. Jongdae hands him a clipboard which is already prepared with a pen and his usual sheets.

“Kim Jongin, ahh, the one who lost his soulmate and was suggested into therapy by his friends Oh Sehun and Byun Baekhyun,” Junmyeon mumbles general information aloud to remind himself of what his client was currently going through. He thanks Jongdae before he makes his way down the hallway, towards his meeting room. He reaches the mahogany door and enters the room, closing it behind him gently.

“Good afternoon, Jongin-sshi,” Junmyeon says with a smile and Jongin looks up at him lifelessly from where he was seated on the couch. His hands are clasped together and his posture makes him look smaller than he actually is, as though the space around him was too large. Junmyeon takes a seat in his chair and he faces his client who probably mumbled a hello to him, like he always did.

“Would you like to talk about Kyungsoo today?” Junmyeon asks and it’s a simple question that he begins every session with. He’s been tracking Jongin’s memory of his soulmate, seeing whether the facts change when he answers. So far, Jongin seems to have trouble remembering certain colours, his answers tend to be different each time. Junmyeon waits patiently, sometimes Jongin declines the topic, however today, he blinks and purses his lips.

“Kyungsoo’s favourite colour is white and his favourite flowers are blue… no purple hydrangeas?” He sounds unsure. Junmyeon quietly writes down blue and purple beside his previous note that Kyungsoo’s favourite flowers are green. Jongin appears worse than he did last time, the dark circles are etched into his skin and he seems restless. Junmyeon takes a deep breath and he looks Jongin in the eye,

“Now Jongin-sshi, what colour was Kyungsoo?” An odd question but necessary. To Jongin, he no longer saw in black and white, for he had been “dyed” by Kyungsoo. Jongin told him about hydrangeas during their first session, how Kyungsoo had taught him that even the brightest colours fade to ones that are so lifeless. 

Junmyeon can feel a chill run up his spine when Jongin’s dull eyes meet his own, never wavering as he answers.

  
“His eyes were brown, his cheeks were pink but he was blue doctor, everything was  _ blue _ .” 


End file.
